Final memories
by dragon-chan2
Summary: Weiss gathers at a funeral to remember their teammate Aya. Slight shounen ai.


Hi everyone! Guess what? I don't own Weiss! Too bad, ne? Well, to add to all the depression around here, I don't own the song either. It's called "To The Moon and Back", and I'm just borrowing it from Savage Garden for the moment! Hope you enjoy...  
  
The minister's voice droned on. "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust..."  
  
Ken, Omi, and Yohji stood together quietly. They did not cry. They were finished with their grieving. There were no more tears to weep.  
  
"We are gathered here to mourn the death of a man we loved."  
  
Ken lowered his head.  
  
"Please take a moment to remember his life. Remember him for what he was."  
  
What remained of the members of Weiß closed their eyes. It was not difficult to call up the memory of his face. Piercing amethyst eyes whose commands could not be refused. Demandingly brilliant red hair that contrasted sharply with his almost inhumanly pale skin. He was beautiful, but it seemed sometimes that his beauty was not of this earth. He seemed always to be a step away from the rest of the world, not physically remote, yet completely isolated, as though he was a millimeter out of reality. He lived almost in a separate universe, one without heed for the petty cares of that which most call life. He seemed to see deeper than most, though his gaze never broke the surface.  
  
It was indeed as though Fujimiya Aya lived in a different universe. He lived in a world that could not be touched by everyday things. He was not affected by the moods of those around him. He did not care. Two things only could touch his reality and shatter the fiery ice wall he built around his being. The first was the need for revenge. His cold eyes burned within as he called for the death of Takatori Reiji, but the fire was not quelled when this goal was reached. Nothing had changed. The man was dead, but that which he had taken was not returned. That which he had taken was the only object that could break into Aya's universe. But it did not destroy the wall of fire and ice, for it too lay in its own universe, separate from our lives. It lay in its own universe, a universe that was composed solely of a hospital bed with pristinely white sheets. It lay sleeping and perchance dreaming, never moving. Never waking. Its name was never spoken, save perhaps by a faceless nurse  
who bustled in to straighten the orchids and lilies that were always in the crystal vase by its bed. None knew of its existence. The key to the wall of fire and ice lay in that bed, unsuspected and unnoticed.  
  
Fujimiya Aya was a man without emotions. He was silent, brooding, and deeply unhappy. He had lost everything he had lived for. The only thing that remained was the desire for revenge. When that was accomplished, he could do nothing with his life but kill. Kill and wait by a bedside. None knew the story behind Fujimiya Aya, and he liked it that way. Or perhaps he just didn't care.  
  
~He's taking his time making up the reasons  
  
To justify all the hurt inside~  
  
"Aya-kun, why are you always so SILENT? You never speak to any of us!"  
  
A level stare was always the reply to such an enquiry. There was no reason to answer the question, and Aya never did anything without a reason.  
  
~Guess he knows from the smiles  
  
And the look in their eyes  
  
Everyone's got a theory about the bitter one~  
  
The fangirls whispered about him in the brightly cheerful front room of the flower shop. They giggled at Yohji's flirting, talked about the latest music with Omi, and teased Ken. When they tired of these games, they turned their attention to the silent man behind the counter. They dissected him with sharp voices, their self-important psychoanalysis punctuated with shrill laughter.  
  
~They're saying, "Momma never loved him much"  
  
And, "Daddy never keeps in touch  
  
That's why he shies away from human affection"~  
  
"I think he was abused as a child. He can't trust anyone!"  
  
"Oh don't be silly, May! Not everything can be explained by child abuse. He just doesn't talk to us girls because" here the voice was lowered and the tone became more confidential "he's gay. He doesn't want us to know!"  
  
"I think you're both wrong. You're so melodramatic! Aya-san is just the sort of person who just doesn't talk that much!"  
  
"No, Eila. It's more than that. Something bad happened to him once. I can see it in his eyes. Perhaps he lost someone close to him once, and he's afraid to love anyone again."  
  
The man in question went about his work without pausing. It seemed impossible that he could have failed to notice their remarks, though he seemed oblivious. Perhaps he simply didn't care.  
  
~But somewhere in a private place  
  
He packs his bags for outer space  
  
And now he's waiting for the right kind of pilot to come~  
  
Ken had experienced Aya's attitude towards life quite thoroughly.  
  
"Yohji, please don't ridicule me. I think Aya-kun is capable of love. He needs it. If he would just accept me... I could help him so much. I could get behind that wall he always has up and break it down. He could live again. All he needs is love."  
  
The blond shook his head "I don't want to see you hurt, Ken. Don't place all your hopes on something that you might never achieve..."  
  
~I would fly to the moon and back if you'll be...  
  
If you'll be my baby  
  
Got a ticket for a world where we belong  
  
So would you be my baby?~  
  
Ken scanned the redhead's face hopefully. There had to be some emotion there, something to acknowledge the fact that Ken had just offered him his heart. There was nothing. Not the slightest sign that his words had been comprehended.  
  
"Aya? If... if you don't feel the same, I'll understand. You don't have to pretend or anything. I guess I just wanted you to know that I do love you, no matter what. If you don't, you can just walk away. It's okay. I'll understand..."  
  
The redheaded assassin shook his head gently. Ken's heart leapt for an instant. Then Aya spoke. "I'm sorry, Ken. I cannot love. I do not deserve to."  
  
Ken nodded slowly. His heart seemed to shatter into a thousand pieces as the figure turned on his heel and walked away.  
  
~He can't remember a time when he felt needed  
  
If love was red then he was colour blind~  
  
Yohji stared at the man before him. "What did you say to him." The words were hardly a question. He already knew.  
  
"I told him what he should have already known. I cannot love. I am not a being capable of affection. I am only an assassin. I am Fujimiya Aya. I am Abyssinian. I am... Weiss. "  
  
~All his friends they've been tried for treason  
  
And crimes that were never defined~  
  
Omi bit his tongue to keep back an accusing scream. He kept his voice to a vicious whisper. "What do you mean incapable of love? We are all assassins. But we fight for what is right. We are still HUMAN, for God's sake!  
  
The reply was not even bitter. The amethyst eyes never showed a sign of feeling. "Everyone I have ever loved is gone. I do not bring happiness. I bring death. My family is dead because of who they loved. I will not kill anyone I do not have to. Ken deserves better than me. He will forget me and find another. And he will be happy with them. My personal comfort is of no importance."  
  
~He's saying, "Love is like a barren place,  
  
And reaching out for human faith  
  
Is like a journey I just don't have a map for"~  
  
Omi shrieked with impatience. "Your love is not the same as personal comfort! There is nothing more important than love! Why can't you understand this? You're so mired in your own feelings of self-pity and blame that you can't open your eyes and stop destroying yourself long enough to see what life is really like!"  
  
The violet eyes never changed. "I do not need love. I cannot have it."  
  
~So baby's gonna take a dive and  
  
Push the shift to overdrive  
  
Send a signal that he's hanging  
  
All his hopes on the stars~  
  
There was a note on Aya's pillow. He picked it up, and his eyes showed no sign of surprise as he read it.  
  
"Dear Aya. I know it's been a long time since I told you I loved you, but I want you to know that it's still true. I haven't forgotten. I don't believe that you are as bad as you think. I believe that you are a wonderful person inside. If you will just give me a chance, I know that we can be happy together. Please, if you think there's any possible chance that you could ever love me, knock twice on my door tonight. If not, knock three times, and I will never bother you again. Ken."  
  
Ken lay on his bed, every nerve tingling with suspense. He jumped at every noise that might have been the beginning of a soft footstep. He jumped at the sudden sound of a fist hitting his door. His breath caught in his throat as one knock sounded. Two. He shut his eyes, praying for silence. A second went by uneventfully. His eyes flew open and shone with uncontrollable joy for a moment before the silence was shattered by another knock. He bowed his head. The man would never be his. The unapproachable beauty and grace that was Fujimiya Aya could never be captured.  
  
~What a pleasant dream. ~  
  
Weiss raised their heads again. The last moment of remembrance was over. They turned their eyes to a fire lit on the hillside. As the flames leapt to the sky, the last remnant of Fujimiya Aya's life was consumed. After a moment that seemed to last an eternity, the fire was extinguished. The only thing left in the smoldering ashes was a pool of molten metal. The katana was gone.  
  
Ran Fujimiya smiled and looked at the girl, no, woman, beside him. She grinned back at him, and he pulled her into a tight embrace. He whispered in her ear. "You can have your name back now, Aya-chan. I am no longer Weiss. I have returned." 


End file.
